My ex is an RN but had decided to go back to graduate school six months prior to announcing she wanted a divorce. This had the effect of lowering her income since she was working less (yes I think there was some planning going on there). I had paid for her undergraduate degree in nursing and encouraged her to go back to school. I of course offered to finance that too and purchased a shiny new laptop to help with her school work. That was shortly after purchasing her a new SUV after she complained about the one she was driving.

Anyway, back to the house. I made this mistake of moving out during my divorce and I am still paying for it. I did stay in the house for three months after my ex announced she wanted a divorce. When things heated up and she started lying, my really incompetent attorney advised me to move out.

She began making stuff up and attempting to pick fights around the two month mark. On two occasions she resorted to physical violence to try and goad me into retaliating. My attorney suggested recording conversations with her and the family to attempt to show my side of it. That turned out to be bad advice as the divorce court judge completely laid into my attorney during the first hearing for suggesting this plan.

My advice is to invite someone you know and trust to stay with you during this time. That is a lot to ask of someone – but the stakes are high.

My ex was willing to lie repeatedly on record without having to offer any evidence. Our legal system seems very vulnerable to this kind of abuse – especially if you are male. She wanted me out of the house and was willing to lie to do it. And guess what… it worked for her. My ex is still living in the house and I am paying the mortgage.

My other piece of advice for men going through a divorce – especially for “nice guys” – Stop being nice! I tried to “not push back” and try to give my spouse time to work through her issues. Once she calls that attorney – you have to get down to business and assume the worst. My spouse turned into a completely different person and it became all about money and assets for her. I got gouged pretty good just because early on I didn’t want to play hardball.

Anyway – good luck for those going through the process. Stay tough!

I know she is capable of doing some real spiteful things. Early on in the marriage she was convinced that I was messing around on her. So one time after we got back from a party, we got into an argument about it. I told her over and over again that it wasn’t true, but because she was so drunk she wouldn’t let up. She ended up calling the cops and claiming that I threw her to the floor and tried to kick her. And when they showed up, she actually laid on the floor and started acting like she was hurt. The cops cuffed me right away, and had me sitting on my driveway for over an hour before finally figuring out that nothing happened. And I still had to leave for the night! I know that she would do something like this again, and I am worried that this time she would get them to believe her lies. I feel like the best plan is to stay as far away from her as possible until the divorce is over. But I cant stand the thought of losing my home! I need some advice on how I can handle this properly. If she is able to pin some domestic violence thing on me, I know for sure that I would lose my job. What the hell should I do?!?