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General Divorce Advice for Men
The whole process of divorce for men is a long and sometimes tedious one, with lots of letters going backwards and forwards from your respective lawyers, when all the time you will be expected to still work well for your job, be a good father to your children and keep a roof over your head in time of massive upheaval.
These points I think may be of some help to anyone going through a divorce but particularly men, as divorce for men can be much harder on your emotional state than you would otherwise think.
1. Choose a lawyer on recommendation, if this is not possible interview three
2. Communicate with your lawyer exactly what you want them to do and what you do not want them to do on your behalf. They will assume that it will be up to them to do all of the mediating work on your behalf and at your exspense.
3. Keep communication going with your wife. If this stops you will end up fighting about something you agree upon because your lawyers are fighting each other.
4. Draw up between you and your wife what you want and expect from the split and come to agreement over this. Otherwise you will be paying your lawyers to fight over a microwave. This will cost you much more than n new one.
5. Keep all correspondence.
6. Do not bad mouth your wife. Especially if you have children.
7. Do not get into any tit for tat situation. Meet up and calmly agree, back down if you have too.
8. Take up a new hobby or sport. A fitness plan may help you in two ways, one to vent steam and another to help you look your best for when you may wish to start dating again.
9. Lean on your family and friends, its vital you talk about how you feel and get out your frustration. They will understand and they will help you get better by just listening.
10. Remember if you have children. They come first and you will always be their Father and your wife will always be their Mother. Divorce for men is hard but you can get over it.
We have a site up and almost running, it is for information only and can be found at divorceformen.co.uk
I have gone through my divorce and come out the other side a better more rounded person. Not bitter or resentful but happy for the time I was married. I made some mistakes during my divorce that cost me money that did not need to be spent on lawyers arguing. This is such a waste of your money and your emotional well being.
These points I think may be of some help to anyone going through a divorce but particularly men, as divorce for men can be much harder on your emotional state than you would otherwise think.
1. Choose a lawyer on recommendation, if this is not possible interview three
2. Communicate with your lawyer exactly what you want them to do and what you do not want them to do on your behalf. They will assume that it will be up to them to do all of the mediating work on your behalf and at your exspense.
3. Keep communication going with your wife. If this stops you will end up fighting about something you agree upon because your lawyers are fighting each other.
4. Draw up between you and your wife what you want and expect from the split and come to agreement over this. Otherwise you will be paying your lawyers to fight over a microwave. This will cost you much more than n new one.
5. Keep all correspondence.
6. Do not bad mouth your wife. Especially if you have children.
7. Do not get into any tit for tat situation. Meet up and calmly agree, back down if you have too.
8. Take up a new hobby or sport. A fitness plan may help you in two ways, one to vent steam and another to help you look your best for when you may wish to start dating again.
9. Lean on your family and friends, its vital you talk about how you feel and get out your frustration. They will understand and they will help you get better by just listening.
10. Remember if you have children. They come first and you will always be their Father and your wife will always be their Mother. Divorce for men is hard but you can get over it.
We have a site up and almost running, it is for information only and can be found at divorceformen.co.uk
I have gone through my divorce and come out the other side a better more rounded person. Not bitter or resentful but happy for the time I was married. I made some mistakes during my divorce that cost me money that did not need to be spent on lawyers arguing. This is such a waste of your money and your emotional well being.
There are very few times in a man's life that he will actually seek help or advice for his own need. There may be a plumbing job he doesn't mind asking about but rarely will he ask for help with his feelings. Getting divorced is probably the only time he will and should get all the help he needs.
Having gone through the whole process myself and seen the light out of the other side I can tell you this much. It takes longer than you think it will to become emotionally stable following the break up of a marriage whereby you are the one who gets left for someone else. Its not that you find it hard to get over the fact that your ex wife is now with someone new. More the fact that your life has changed by so much that you may find it hard to get used to it.
Having gone through the whole process myself and seen the light out of the other side I can tell you this much. It takes longer than you think it will to become emotionally stable following the break up of a marriage whereby you are the one who gets left for someone else. Its not that you find it hard to get over the fact that your ex wife is now with someone new. More the fact that your life has changed by so much that you may find it hard to get used to it.
