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Important: Anger is Your Enemy!
Going through a divorce is really tough. There is no doubt about that! If that divorce turns into a long court battle, the stress leads to a range of emotions that most men have never felt or at least recognized up to this point. Depending on the situation, there is probably a sense betrayal, confusion, and eventually vengeance. All of this can lead to what could probably be your biggest enemy in any divorce... Anger!
There is no one that says that you can't be angry about your divorce, if you weren't then some people would probably wonder what was wrong. But when you let that anger take over your actions, specifically in the court room, things are only going to get worse (and more expensive!). Anger is a powerful emotion that can make people do stupid things, which of course, is not much different than love. That thing that got you into this mess to begin with.
There is no one that says that you can't be angry about your divorce, if you weren't then some people would probably wonder what was wrong. But when you let that anger take over your actions, specifically in the court room, things are only going to get worse (and more expensive!). Anger is a powerful emotion that can make people do stupid things, which of course, is not much different than love. That thing that got you into this mess to begin with.
But anger can cause you to bicker and fight over things that you would otherwise not care about. It can cause you to put up an endless fight for that dining room table that you would never use in the first place. Do you really need it? Probably not, but your emotions tell you to fight for it just so that your ex-wife can't have it. This can lead to all kind of useless bickering and stand-offs, which will only prolong your divorce hearing. Obviously, this leads to more stress, which leads to more anger. It is a vicious cycle that once you get caught up in, it is hard to get out of.
But don't expect your divorce attorney to make any attempts to calm you down. The anger and the bickering leads to longer divorce proceedings, more mediation, and extra meetings with your attorney. All of which leads to more money in your divorce attorney's pocket. Sure he/she may ask you if you "really" want to fight for it (whatever it is), but they are not going to try to convince you otherwise. They will argue that you hired them and they will fight for whatever you want.
But the one place where you absolutely cannot let your anger come through is in the courtroom. One of the quickest ways to get judge to look down on you is to be constantly consumed by anger. The problem is this doesn't properly convey you as the type person you are, but the judge doesn't know that. He/she will see you as a difficult, angry person and will sympathize with your wife (who will more than likely be act as innocent as she can). This will all, but guarantee an unfavorable divorce settlement for you!
One last note... when is comes to division of personal property (furniture, electronics, etc) try and work something out with your wife without getting the attorney's involved. This should not be high on your list of priorities. Besides, keeping your divorce attorneys from getting involved in the more trivial things will help you both save a lot of money.
But don't expect your divorce attorney to make any attempts to calm you down. The anger and the bickering leads to longer divorce proceedings, more mediation, and extra meetings with your attorney. All of which leads to more money in your divorce attorney's pocket. Sure he/she may ask you if you "really" want to fight for it (whatever it is), but they are not going to try to convince you otherwise. They will argue that you hired them and they will fight for whatever you want.
But the one place where you absolutely cannot let your anger come through is in the courtroom. One of the quickest ways to get judge to look down on you is to be constantly consumed by anger. The problem is this doesn't properly convey you as the type person you are, but the judge doesn't know that. He/she will see you as a difficult, angry person and will sympathize with your wife (who will more than likely be act as innocent as she can). This will all, but guarantee an unfavorable divorce settlement for you!
One last note... when is comes to division of personal property (furniture, electronics, etc) try and work something out with your wife without getting the attorney's involved. This should not be high on your list of priorities. Besides, keeping your divorce attorneys from getting involved in the more trivial things will help you both save a lot of money.
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