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Dealing With Your Divorce Attorney
This is a very important subject when it comes to a divorce. The way that you interact with your divorce attorney cannot only make the difference in the outcome of your case, but it has a direct influence on how much money it will cost you.
The important thing to remember is that you hired your attorney. He/she is NOT your boss, although many of them would like to think they are. Your divorce attorney is simply the person who has the knowledge of the legal system that you need to succeed. He/she is not unlike a contractor who has knowledge it takes to build a house (and up to code) or a mechanic who has the knowlege and tools to fix your car.
But at the same time, if you have absolutely no knowledge of what
The important thing to remember is that you hired your attorney. He/she is NOT your boss, although many of them would like to think they are. Your divorce attorney is simply the person who has the knowledge of the legal system that you need to succeed. He/she is not unlike a contractor who has knowledge it takes to build a house (and up to code) or a mechanic who has the knowlege and tools to fix your car.
But at the same time, if you have absolutely no knowledge of what
you are getting into, then it is very easy for your attorney, or your contractor, or your mechanic to take complete control over the situation and before you know it, you will feel like you are being taken advantage of.That is why you need to do as much research on your divorce as you possibly can! Don't just pass the buck to your attorney and assume that he/she is going to do everything right for you. Remember, although it is often exaggerated, attorneys (specifically divorce attorneys) don't get bad reputations for no reason at all!
You need to have the majority of your case together before you start dealing with your divorce attorney. There are some simple documents, files, notes, and other "evidence" that you can gather on your own. Not only will you have some quick answers for your attorney, but it saves the unnecasary expense of having your attorney's office do it for you. You'd be surprised what you could get charged for (copies, faxes, etc) and those things add up in a hurry. If you have no idea what information you need to gather up, then do a little extra research. You can talk to friends who have been through a divorce, or even a "short" phone call to your attorney's secretary or paralegal will do the trick.
Obviously, you should disclose EVERYTHING to your divorce attorney. Even if you are embarrassed or ashamed by it. Trust me, he/she has heard worse! But nothing ruins a good attorney/client relationship than something that comes out in court that he/she knew absolutely nothing about. How are they supposed to defend you if you don't tell them about it before hand. Your divorce attorney has to be prepared, just like you do, and he/she can't do that to their best ability if you are holding back important information.
Also, your divorce attorney is not your therapist. Often times, in the midst of stressful situations, your mind can play tricks on you. You may even convince yourself that things are going badly, the pessimism that sets in can cause panic. Your first instinct may be to call your attorney for reassurance, a way to ease your mind. Sure your attorney will tell you everything is great, and that you are still on the right course, but remember he is getting paid by you to say this. And at $250/hour that makes for an expensive "therapist who is only telling you what you want to hear. Your divorce attorney should ONLY be used if you have genuine legal questions.
(*Here's a quick tip... Don't call your attorney for every little question that pops into your head! Keep of ongoing list and when you have a sufficient number of questions set up a short meeting (by phone or at his/her office). This way you can get a lot more accomplished in a shorter amount of time, which always leads to saving more money in attorney's fees.)
Again, the most important thing to remember that your divorce attorney works for you, not the other way around. You are not required to do everything that he suggests you do. Some divorce attorneys will resort to sneaky tactics that may or may not actually help your case, but it will most definitely place more strain on any relationship with your wife and add more stress to the situation. If you are not confident with your divorce attorney, or have a good feeling that they are not doing everything that they can for you. Talk to them about, and if your concerns are not resolved, don't be afraid to fire them!
You need to have the majority of your case together before you start dealing with your divorce attorney. There are some simple documents, files, notes, and other "evidence" that you can gather on your own. Not only will you have some quick answers for your attorney, but it saves the unnecasary expense of having your attorney's office do it for you. You'd be surprised what you could get charged for (copies, faxes, etc) and those things add up in a hurry. If you have no idea what information you need to gather up, then do a little extra research. You can talk to friends who have been through a divorce, or even a "short" phone call to your attorney's secretary or paralegal will do the trick.
Obviously, you should disclose EVERYTHING to your divorce attorney. Even if you are embarrassed or ashamed by it. Trust me, he/she has heard worse! But nothing ruins a good attorney/client relationship than something that comes out in court that he/she knew absolutely nothing about. How are they supposed to defend you if you don't tell them about it before hand. Your divorce attorney has to be prepared, just like you do, and he/she can't do that to their best ability if you are holding back important information.
Also, your divorce attorney is not your therapist. Often times, in the midst of stressful situations, your mind can play tricks on you. You may even convince yourself that things are going badly, the pessimism that sets in can cause panic. Your first instinct may be to call your attorney for reassurance, a way to ease your mind. Sure your attorney will tell you everything is great, and that you are still on the right course, but remember he is getting paid by you to say this. And at $250/hour that makes for an expensive "therapist who is only telling you what you want to hear. Your divorce attorney should ONLY be used if you have genuine legal questions.
(*Here's a quick tip... Don't call your attorney for every little question that pops into your head! Keep of ongoing list and when you have a sufficient number of questions set up a short meeting (by phone or at his/her office). This way you can get a lot more accomplished in a shorter amount of time, which always leads to saving more money in attorney's fees.)
Again, the most important thing to remember that your divorce attorney works for you, not the other way around. You are not required to do everything that he suggests you do. Some divorce attorneys will resort to sneaky tactics that may or may not actually help your case, but it will most definitely place more strain on any relationship with your wife and add more stress to the situation. If you are not confident with your divorce attorney, or have a good feeling that they are not doing everything that they can for you. Talk to them about, and if your concerns are not resolved, don't be afraid to fire them!
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